Friday, November 19, 2004

freedom!

Although in this case, freedom looks a lot like a ton of housework...

I cut off my "Caution: Radioactive Material" bracelet at 2:30, then I took a shower, and then I cleaned out my iso chamber, which meant wiping down everything in the bathroom, stripping the bed, and washing everything. Four loads of laundry later, I think I'm done.

The kids were happy to see me but mostly supremely unconcerned, which is a good thing, I suppose. I got some good hugs and kisses and then they were off to play upstairs and outside and all over the place. I can say without any qualifiers that they are great kids.

I'm exhausted, emotionally more than anything else. I had a great conversation with one of my best friends back in MA, and we talked up and down a dozen different topics when all of sudden I was on the brink of tears... just came out of nowhere.

This is hard. I don't feel too bad physically, although my neck/throat feel weird. I still feel slightly flu-ish, just a little bit crummy all over. But I don't feel dreadfully ill. I do feel like I've been through the wringer, I guess. Back on meds for 2 days now, and hopeful that they will soon help smooth out these emotional tsunamis that totally overhwelm me without warning. So far it hasn't happened in front of the kids, but that's just because I haven't spent too much time with them.

Dinner was pick-up, clean-out-the-fridge, which was necessary... and still delicious. After that, I'm really not sure what happened to the evening -- kids got baths, etc etc. They really like the sour JellyBelly beans I bought for myself but didn't eat, so they had fun eating those for dessert (10 each! they were so excited. Such a tiny amount, actually.)

I think the high point was just hanging out with DD in her room for a while. She had set the table for a tea party and was very pleased with herself. She had also arranged her animals nicely inside her castle. She has a really great little girl's room, although there is defnitely more work to be done in there... I hope I can find some energy to get it done! It is such a pleasure to see how much she enjoys the things she has. I remembered this evening that her teacher had given her a charm bracelet last year, and I kept it for her knowing it would never last if I gave her to her then. So I gave it to her this evening, and she loved it, and I know she will take (reasonably good) care of it, too. She was so happy to have it, and since it is hers, there was no reason for me to be hanging onto it. It's nice that it is so easy to make them happy.

Off to bed now. DH has a retreat for his RCIA tomorrow, and he'll be gone from about 8 until 3ish. We'll see how it goes here with the kids. I'd like DS1 to work ahead on his homework, because even though there is no RE this week, Nana and Papa are coming and I know he's just not going to want to to do it then!

I can't believe Thanksgiving is Thursday. I am soooo not ready! We'll get there somehow or other.

No comments: